I am 24 and I hate knackers.

Da-da-da-DA-Dah-da-DAAAAHHHHHH, Knacker Power!!!.

I hate them!!!!!!

They multiply at a rate that would make the horniest rats jealous.

In the town nearest to where I live(I live on a farm in the countryside) all you see when you walk down the road are people wearing "3-Stripes" and ugly women that can't talk to you in a language that anyone other than a knacker can understand.

I have a friend who is studying the "ancient" art of "Knack-Fu". He has spent the last 2 years learning the styles and moves from some of the worst knackers on our planet. He has mastered the "Broken Bottle Stance" and the "Hypnotiser" attacks. Last I heard he was studying under a knacker known as Anto, or possibly Deco, and he is being trained up on the "Box Attack".

One of my mates and I came up with a theory that all Knackers used to live underground, in tunnels buried far beneath our roads. For some unkown reason, possibly a nasty virus they come not cope with and which would explain why they are all so butt-ugly, they dug their way upward to our land and started to mingle into our society. We believe that this would have begun in the last 100 years due to their rate of spreading. Furthermore, we believe that we have located their source, but we will not give out the location for we are paranoid that they might find out we know.

So I say to you good people.....

Rise up!!! Rise up and reclaim what they are trying to take by force, by guile and mostly by sheer weight of numbers. They have taken our homes, taken our jobs, taken our names and I'm sure a few of them have even tried to convert our sons and daughters. We can not let this be for if we did, then there would be no hope for the planet unless your name is Anto.

Coming in the next post : I am 24 and I am evil.