Saturday, July 03, 2004

I am 24 and I am tired.

Hi guys,

Its nice to know that people are reading my waffle. It gives me a fuzzy feeling all over.

Today I am tired and hungover. I don't want to be working, but I don't have a choice. :(

I was out drinking last night with a load of my mates and I realised that I think too much about the silliest things. I also realised that paying for a lap-dance is a dangerous thing when you are drunk.

So this is how the story goes....

I was out "on the town" with a load of my mates from work about 4.30pm. Everything went well to begin with. We all started laying into the drinks, me more-so than anyone else. At around 9pm I got a text message saying that an old college mate was finishing up in his job and heading back to Spain, so I decided to call around to another pub and join in for his farewell drinking session. Everything was going well, then the party moved on to a third pub and this is where everything started to go blurry. I was with one of my mates and the bouncer would not let us in to the nightclub. He said we were drunk and he was right. What really got on my nerves was the fact that the bouncer refused to give me either his name or his manager's name(which, if I remember correctly, I am entitled to know). At first I only wanted to lodge a simple "deformation of character" complaint with the manager, but as the bouncer continued to refuse to give me his name I decided to lodge a formal complaint against the bouncer for being unco-operative, uncivil, abusive and lying. The bouncer claimed that he was the manager, but think about it.... if you are the manager of a successful nightclub, would you be on the door stopping people coming in or would you be in your nice office with the cute women counting your money???

Anyway, after getting refused entry we headed to a lap-dancing club and got in(to our surprise). We thought it was just another nightclub at the start until the barman asked us if we were heading downstairs to the ladies. We said "of course, bring on the women!!!". One thing I will say in regard to the club, the women were young and beautiful but the bloody price of the lap-dance was outrageous... €30 a pop, and all you got was a lap dance that was, in fairness, very nice but the women would not go all the way. They would get their breasts out without a problem but you couldn't get their knickers off for love nor money. Don't get me wrong, I love when women grind into you, but its not right that they keep their knickers on. Thats why I only got 3 lapdances.

Phew, this is my longest rant to date I think and I'm only getting to the best part now.

After the club I went wandering around Dublin city trying to get a bus home. I got to my bus stop okay... I am not sure but I think it was still early, about midnight. At the bus-stop I was accosted by 2 young women that wanted me to go to a house party. I was up for the party but it turned out that they were knackers and I f*cking hate knackers.

So there I was, a girl on either arm and me staring at the breasts like there's never going to be a tomorrow and they are saying that one of their mates is throwing a house party. Normally I would not associate with knackers, but I was feeling adventurous and more than a little drunk and I thought "Go with it! I may be able to score with the girl with the bigger tits" because she was hanging out of me.
So we climbed into a cab and headed out to the house party. House party is too kind for what was. There were about 6 people in total and half of them were stoned out of their trees. I thought this would be my chance to infiltrate the knackers and gain some much needed insight into why I hate them so much.
Alas, it was not to be. The ring-leader was wary of me from about 5 minutes after I arrived. I sat down and straight away put together a few doobs, thinking that this would help me to fit in. I was right and wrong. The other people took to me straight away but the ring-leader hid in another room and rarely came out. Next thing I know, one of the girls that I met in town comes out to tell me "the boss ain't happy about me being there" and that it was best if I left.
I agreed, I was surrounded by knackers and I was running out of witty ways to humiliate them. So I left at about 3am with 2 fingers up at them and caught the first cab that passed me, telling him to get me out of there.
The cab brought me home, but I needed to stop to pick up some cash to pay the cabbie.

And now I have explained in detail about the night I had.

Now I am munching on pain-killers and knocking back the coffee to keep my eyes open.

Next post...
I am 24 and I want to be a tree

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