I am 24 and I have a plan.

Welcome again one and all to hear the greatest of the great, the maddest of the baddest, the "you can't say that on tv, but I did". I know, but its not often I get to blow my own trumpet, I just can't bend that far :)

I have a plan, but in order for it to succeed I will need full co-operation and undying loyalty from the masses. And what can I promise in return for this small favour? How about this.... The first 100 people to swear fealty to me will get the country of their choice alotted on a first come first served basis. You can swap with the other worshippers at a later date if you get a crappy country.
On to the plan.... Its quite simple really. I get myself declared as a god, therefore making myself free of worldly laws. I can then safely kill off all non-believers and not be prosecuted(because I am god and nobody is going to challenge a god). Once I have killed practically everyone on the planet there will be plenty of space for everyone, hunger will be gone, wars will be over and everyone will be rich.
All I ask is that the first 50 people to worship me should be really cute women(age limits will be decided on a case-by-case basis unless they are incredibly cute and only I will be the judge.) I am not asking for much, just a few comely wenches to bask in the glory of their all-loving god.
And what, I hear you ask, will we be believing in? Its quite simple really. So simple I'm surprised I thought of it first, as it really is easy. Everyone, eyes forward, lights down and poof!!! Believe in...... yourself!!!! Thats it, thats all you need. If you believe strongly enough in yourself then you are capable of achieving all your goals(other than the obvious or dumb ideas like growing 4 arms or flying unaided). You will find that believing in yourself is more satifying than believing in a god that supposedly looks down from on high and tells you not to ride your sister. I say, if she's really hot and up for a bit of "hide the sausage" then play ball.

What say you the people who would be my worshippers? I await your voice to grant us all the ideal lives that we deserve.

We can make a difference, our voices can be heard!!! We will be HEARD!!!!